I Think I Love You
by Devilzzz
Summary: Companion piece to The Sex Trials. One shot, I think. Hermione/Dobby, Harry/?, Ron/?, Oliver/Broom and Ginny/Draco. Parody.


I Think I Love You  
--------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the songs by No Doubt and the ever-hyper Kaci.  
  
Summary: Love comes in different packages. Hermione/Dobby, Harry/?, Ginny/Draco, Oliver/Broom, Ron/?. Your only response will have to be WTF or LMAO. Parody.  
  
"We can never tell anyone about us," Hermione hissed, looking around suspiciously around the common room.  
  
"Miss Hermione?" Dobby looked up at her slyly.  
  
"Yes, Dobby?" she replied in a seductive tone.  
  
"I wanted to tell you something..." he started.  
  
"Oh, Dob, I wanted to tell you something too!" Hermione interrupted, pointing at him, and started signing, moving her hips as she did.  
  
"Before I go insane, I hold my pillow to my head, and I spring up to my bed, screaming out the word I dread... I think I love you! This morning, I woke up, this feeling I don't know how to do it, so I just decided to myself, that I'd hide it to myself... OOOOOEEEEE!"  
  
"Oh, Miss!" Dobby yelled, jumping up and down and trying to reach Hermione to kiss her.  
  
"I'll help you," Hermione offered graciously, grasping his tiny-upper arms and placing a small kiss on his nose.  
  
**T.I.L.Y.**  
  
"It's not like I've tried hiding our relationship..." Harry started, tears welling up inside his eyes.  
  
She blinked her eyes back at him, trying to refrain herself from doing anything.  
  
"I know what you're thinking...you think that I don't love you anymore...but I do, I do. I love you like I've never loved anyone before. I like waking up to you next to me in the morning...I love you when you're near me, I cry when you're gone...but it's over."  
  
Her flashing eyes were now twitching.  
  
"Oh, don't cry, please, don't," Harry notified her, running his hand through her...she felt so soft against his skin...  
  
"I love you, Hedwig," he whispered, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. "I always will..."  
  
Clearing his throat, he tucked her into his arms, clutching her tightly against his chest, and started to sing in a low-pitched voice.  
  
"You're still the one I run to... the only one I belong to... you're still the one I want... for liiiiifee..."  
  
"Hoot, hoot!" Hedwig retorted.  
  
"Oh, how about just one more night together? Like old times?" Harry drawled, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively.  
  
"Hoot, HOOT!" Hedwig exclaimed.  
  
"Great! You get the dead mice, I'll get the scrabble."  
  
**T.I.L.Y.**  
  
"Oh, Draco, you're so sad..." Ginny looked at him warily beneath the sheets. "Didn't you like it?"  
  
"Oh, yes, I loved it. But I was thinking about my father..."  
  
Her eyes widened at him. "Well...whatever works for you."  
  
"No, I mean...oh, Ginny," he said, exasperated, flicking one of his silver strands out of his forehead, "My...father...my father never loved me!"  
  
Draco started to sob uncontrollably, while Ginny pulled him into his arms. "There, there," she cooed in a soothing voice.  
  
"He never loved me! Do you know what it's like? I am not really evil, Ginny. In most fics I star as someone who doesn't want to follow in his father's footsteps even though I am a Slytherin, I enjoy fantasizing killing mudbloods, and I touch myself when nobody's looking! But that's not evil is it?"  
  
"Draco..." Ginny said, a smile creeping to her face. "W- will you...will you touch yourself for me?"  
  
"I'd do anything for you, Gin...anything...I star in most fics as a cold- hearted person who gives you dragon necklaces and then falls in love with you in less than five chapters."  
  
Ginny gave no response to this. Instead, she looked deep into his eyes, and leaned over, and began singing in a wavering sweet voice.  
  
"Don't speak... I know what you're saying... so please stop explaining... Don't speak, Don't speak noooo Hush, Hush, don't speak don't speak Hush,Hush... don't speak don't speak, Hush, Hush, don't tell me because it hurts..." When she stopped singing sweetly, her smile faltered into a pissed off expression. "That means shut the fuck up."  
  
**T.I.L.Y.**  
  
"That's right, old friend," Oliver said, grinning insanely. "It's just you and me now..." He straddled his broom, giving a small moan in return.  
  
"I've always wanted this," Oliver groaned, "But I never thought it'd feel so good..." his throbbing erection touched the wood, sliding across it, and massive pleasure reached him as he shivered, with all the strength that he could muster. He got off of it quickly, and walked with it beside him.  
  
"Do you know who they hired to actually play my part in the movie? Sean Biggerstaff. Bigger. Staff. Heh, heh. Dirty..." Oliver giggled to his broom. "I am not complaining...he is one feisty looker..."  
  
He quickly glanced at his broom. "But... I'll always love you...no matter what...you know that, right?"  
  
The broom had no reply for him.  
  
"It's all right...you don't have to speak...I'll speak. Or sing. Whatever. After all, the person who wrote this story is making me talk to a broom, so why not? I thought you'd be here by now. Isn't anyone trying to find me? Will someone take me home? It's a damn cold night... trying to figure out this life... won't somebody please take me somewhere new I don't know who you are... but I am with you....I am with youuuuuuuuuu..."  
  
**T.I.L.Y.**  
  
"I'd walk a thousand miles, so I could just see you... so I could just hold you...  
  
Toniiiiiiiiight. ten tend aaaadaaa..." Ronald Weasley looked at his lover with a maniac grin.  
  
"I just love Vanessa Carlton, don't you?" Ron asked. He wrapped his arm around his lover, kissing it feverently, his lingering kisses all over.  
  
His eyes closed, and he murmured, "Good night, turkey."  
  
The turkey lay still, content in his arms.  
  
I think I love you, I think I love you...  
  
**I.T.I.L.Y.*  
  
Did I scare you guys yet? Hope so! I love freaking people out. Okay, the songs that are not mine are by the following artists: Kaci, No Doubt, Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, and Vanessa Carlton. I wrote part of the lyrics down all by only MEMORY, so if I got some of them wrong, it's because of that.  
  
I own the strange plot that nobody would ever think of stealing, I own the character's developements, but J.K. Rowling owns the characters and settings herself.  
  
Nat owns the "Bigger. Staff. Dirty...heh heh," line, which I unfaithfully stole from her. *Shrug* she'll find out soon enough. I bet you're reading this right now, aren't you, Nat?  
  
ANYWAYS. Review. If you flame, you will be recieving an e-mail that uses a higher level of my vocabulary.  
  
-S.A. Court 


End file.
